Claire and Todd: I never said I love you
by RedSnowQueen
Summary: Mini dairy entries about the relationship that happens between Todd and Claire and the heart ache that follows


Claire is an idiot…not the kind of idiot that can't do math or that kind of stuff. Oh no, Claire is a smart girl when it comes to that stuff. But she's an idiot when it comes to boys. Cam is a nice guy, don't get me wrong, but it bugs me that Claire hangs around him 24/7.

It annoys me when Cam is over and all those two can do is banter…banter banter banter. They act as if they're a married couple…They're only 16! What is wrong with the world today? And it annoys and angers me that Cam isn't telling Claire that he needs space. Dude, I totally think he deserves to get away from my sister. She must exhaust him to no end.

I try to tell my parents that I'm concerned about Claire, that I think she and Cam could end up doing something they regret, but they won't listen to me because I'm just a fourteen year old boy who knows nothing about anything. I try to tell Cam but all he does is push me away…and Claire is even worse! I can't even begin to describe how much of a bitch she is to me.

Nobody listens to me. Nobody cares about Todd Lyons. All they care about is my precious older sister with the perfect relationship with the perfect guy. No, I'm not jealous. I just hate that Claire gets away with everything…ugh!

***…***

In the end, Cam and I almost crossed the line in our relationship and we broke up. I didn't think it would pain me so much that he would leave, but he did and I promised that I would never go through that relationship again. Todd acts like a jerk about it and he annoys me to no end. I actually have a plan to kill him, but because he's my brother, I won't actually do it.

"So Claire, aren't you glad that you don't have to change poopy diapers now?" Todd teased.

"Shut up you little brat!" I yelled at him.

Todd just rolled his eyes. GRRR, why did he have to treat me like crap? Okay, so I was super close to Cam, that didn't mean that Todd could be a jerk to me about my breakup. I swear, that little punk acts so self righteous. He thinks he's so perfect with his brains and high grades and his humble attitude.

***…***

HAHAHA! Freedom! My sixteenth birthday just passed by and I can now drive on my own. I can go anywhere I want and stay out as long as I want. Nobody can tell me what to do. Claire says that I should stop acting like an ego maniac just because I can drive and she can't.

It's also nice that now I have someone to call my own. The girl of my dreams…the love of my life…the one I'm going to marry. She's everything to me. Ah yes, Miss Nyall Hamilton, younger sister of Skye Hamilton. She and I are so much alike. We're smart, nerds and absolute hotties.

We hang out so much and do everything together. We argue about science and movie characters, and we somehow always end up in each others arms after we banter. But it's so much fun. At least it wasn't like the relationship that Claire and Cam had. No! Those two were idiots and almost made the biggest mistakes of their lives. Nyall and I will never go down that road. We're much better than that.

***…***

I can't believe Todd! He keeps telling mom and dad that he and Nyall will never go down the same path that I almost did. He's such an idiot! He doesn't see how his relationship with Nyall is! It is just a copy cat of my old relationship with Cam!

And the worst part is that Todd is changing and not in the way that my parents and I would expect. No, Todd was good at keeping a good relationship with our parents. He would always talk to them when he had problems, and he would definitely come talk to me. And now I keep getting migraines because he goes out at night and doesn't come home until one in the morning. Where does he go? Who is he with? He won't tell me anything! I'm his sister; don't I have a right to know what's going on in his life?

Apparently not and mom and dad tell me that it's not my place to say anything. BAG THAT! Todd is my little brother! Am I not allowed to be concerned about his whereabouts? Am I not allowed to tell him that he's being an idiot and needs to distance himself from Nyall? NO, I'm not allowed and it bothers me!

Todd came home one day after being gone the entire night and mom and dad were yelling at him as to where he went. He didn't say anything, just ignored them and headed for his room. Well I'm not going to let him get away from me so easily. Coming to his room, I knock and walk in.

"Todd, where were you last night?" I demand.

"It's none of your business Claire." He replies, suddenly exhausted.

"Oh don't give me that 'I'm tired, leave me alone act'. Todd, you're acting like an idiot. Tell me why." I demand again.

"Leave me alone!" Todd yells.

"Not until you tell me where you're going at night. Are you screwing around with Nyall?" I interrogate.

Todd gets red in the face, gets off his bed and gets up close in my face.

"YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH NYALL! We're better than you and Cam and we're not going to do anything. NOW GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Todd screamed at me.

It hurt. It hurt to know that he was being this way. I left his room, but not before slamming it first. I rushed to my room and threw myself across my bed. I wasn't this bad with Cam…mom told me so. Why was Todd hiding the truth about him and his stupid little girlfriend? Maybe I should go talk to Nyall.

***…***

I can't believe Claire! I can't believe that she ripped Nyall away from me! How dare she! She went over to talk to her and basically told her what was what and said something about how she needs to stay away from me before we regret something. There was nothing go on between us! Why did she have to do that?

Claire had also talked to Skye and I found out that Skye went to snoop in her sisters' room and told Claire that she found a used condom on the floor. She's lying! There's nothing going on between Nyall and me! Anyways, Mrs. Hamilton got mad at Nyall and me and she kicked Nyall out…..to live in lower Westchester with relatives!

But I still go and see Nyall when she texts me saying that she's alone. I can't stay away from her, I can't.

***…***

I totally didn't expect this. I didn't expect Todd to come home and announce to my parents that he's moving out because he's old enough. He's only 16! They ask where he would go and he explains that his girlfriend is letting him stay in her new place.

Fine, let him go, I don't care anymore. He's brought nothing but heartache into our home. In fact, I don't care about him anymore. I can't believe he would do this to us…to me. Todd and I use to be so close and then all this angst came between us. I tried to talk him out of it, but he just grew more angry and left.

***…***

It's been a month since dad convinced Todd to come home. They went on a trip to New Jersey to have some bonding time. I still hate him. I hate him for leaving home. I hate him for denying his relationship with that idiot girlfriend of his. They crossed the lines when they said they wouldn't! What hypocrites!

***…***

It's been a week since dad and Todd came home from New Jersey. I had a hard time sleeping the following night so I went down to the kitchen to grab a warm glass of milk. I noticed a shadowy figure creeping towards the door.

"Todd, what do you think you're doing?" I whisper shout.

He turns around and gives me the 'be quiet' sign. I roll my eyes.

"Shhh, this is all just a dream. When I leave, you will wake up in your own bed and none of this will have ever happened." He monologues.

I roll my eyes and set my milk down. "Todd, are you sneaking out to go see Nyall? Ha-ha get it, senile?" I smirk.

Todd frowns and glares at me. I shrug it off.

"Todd, you promised." I remind him.

"Bug off Claire, you know nothing!" He hissed.

By then, I couldn't deal with it anymore. He needed to know what he was doing. He was so lost in his own little world that he didn't think that he was doing something wrong.

"Todd! You're being such a freaking hypocrite! You kept telling us that you and your girlfriend weren't serious! You two had sex! That is a serious relationship! You kept saying that you wouldn't go down the same path that I almost took, but you did anyways! You're being disrespectful to mom, dad and to me! But most importantly, you're lying to yourself and you need to cut it out. Leave Nyall alone!" I explain.

Todd grabs the door handle and opens it to let in the cool summer air.

"You know nothing about my relationship. Buzz off Claire." He growled.

"FINE! I WILL! GO AND BE A TEENAGED FATHER FOR ALL I CARE! GO AND LIVE A MISERABLE LIFE! BUT DON'T EVER COME BACK TO THIS HOUSE AGAIN AND EXPECT ME TO FORGIVE YOU FOR TEARING OUR FAMILY APART! I HATE YOU TODD!" I yelled at him, not caring that would wake up my parents.

And with that, he was gone….good.

***…***

A few days after I left the house, Nyall and I had finished another one of our bantering sessions that turned into a steamy wrestling match. It was fun, I'll admit it. It took away the stress that surrounded between Claire and me. Sheesh, what made her think I was doing something wrong?

"Todd, you've got to go. My uncle will be home soon." Nyall said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Aw come on babe, I can handle him." I laugh.

"Todd, I'm serious. He's on my mom's side and if he catches you, he'll call the cops." Nyall frowned.

"Oh fine, I'm going. But I'm still here for you darling." I say and kiss her tenderly.

She lightly shoves me away and I see a look on her face that I haven't seen before.

"Todd, I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore." She said.

"What do you mean? I thought you liked my steaming kisses." I teased.

"That's just it, that's all we ever do. I've been doing some thinking…"

"That's dangerous." I interrupt.

"Todd, we can't be together anymore!" She blurted.

My world suddenly started spinning. This wasn't happening! She was supposed to be 'The one'. She was supposed to be the girl I was going to marry. Why was she saying this all of a sudden? Did she not love me anymore?

"But…why? I love you." I told her.

"That's just it Todd, I don't. This relationship we have…I don't know what it is. I hardly know you. We just banter and argue and have sex. What kind of relationship is that for our age? We should see other people." She explained.

By now, I'm super confused. Tears are running down my face. Why was she saying this? I love her! I don't know what else to do so I get to my feet and head out for my truck just outside.

***…***

The phone rings and I hear dad get it. By the time he's off, he comes into the kitchen where mom and I are making dinner.

"Judi, Claire; that was the police who called. Todd's been in an accident." He announced.

At first, I didn't believe him. Todd was just prank calling us so that he could spend more time at his girlfriends' house. But when I turned around to see his face, I knew it wasn't a lie. I suddenly felt regret fill my soul. I hadn't been the nicest to Todd ever since he got involved with that girl.

"Is he okay?" Mom asked.

Dad came up to her with tears in his eyes and he hugged her tightly.

"He didn't survive the crash. Todd was killed on impact." He broke down.

As the two cried together, I suddenly felt weak. I had to sit down in a chair before I collapsed to the floor. Todd was dead….Todd was dead. I felt my own tears run down my face. I felt all the anger and hurt rush through me and I quickly ran to my room and cried into my pillow.

Todd was dead, and the last words I ever spoke to him were "I hate you."

"I hate you…I hate you…don't ever come back to this house again. I hate you Todd." The words were going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

"Todd, if you can hear me…I'm sorry. This is my entire fault." I cried.

Looking over at the head of my bed, I saw the teddy bear that he had given me on my 15 birthday. Grabbing it, I sobbed into the bear and for just that moment, I felt a connection with my brother again. And I knew that everything would be okay.

"I love you Todd."

**Woah, this really hit home for me. I can barely see the screen through my own tears.**

**Read and Review!**


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